You cant fool your soul

Coffee, clouds and Mary Oliver

“You can fool a lot of yourself but you can’t fool your soul”- Mary Oliver

I’m sitting here, on the early side of 7 am. A little cup of coffee in my hand, and when I say Little, I mean it. I have a little China mug from my favourite diner when I was a kid. The same 50’s themed diner that I would beg my mom to take me to on my birthday. Louie Louie’s, would play 50’s music, the servers would dress in 50’s clothes and sing happy birthday to me. It was magic to a young kid obsessed with music and 50’s culture. Anyways, I came across this cup and saucer set at a vintage market years later. And it’s still my favourite mug to drink coffee out of.

There’s a bit of a cotton candy sky, and the birds are singing me their morning songs and I’m feeling rather content.

Yesterday, I had a very profound day. I got to interview my favourite author Alistair McIntosh, whose books have been a steady companion to me over the last few years. The conversation was for a podcast that will come out, well I’m not sure when. But I’ll make sure to let you know when it does.

I was a little nervous, and a touch emotional off the top of the interview, I did my best not to show it and implemented a few little breathing techniques that I’ve picked up over the years. Alistair was so calm and relaxed, he made me feel at ease, And luckily he likes to talk. So it was fairly easy to gather my emotions in between questions.

Our conversation leaned heavily on spirituality, and faith as well as mentorship, the divine inner reality and a little bit on the 2nd sight. The idea of seeing or feeling the unseen. Something I’ve felt deep inside me since I was young.

I was tasked to write a song for this podcast based on our conversation with the grace period of about a year. Turns out I didn’t need a year, as I had the song written and recorded on my new (to me) analog tape machine within about two hours of hanging up the zoom call.

I also needed another song for the album that I’m working on, so thank you Alistair and Jack at pod songs for helping me out there.

I had my friend Theresa from the band Pony Gold come over later in the day and sing beautiful harmonies for a couple songs on the record, including this new one .

After the recording was done, we had a very long and fruitful conversation about How Alistair’s books have shown me that as an artist, I am part of a long lineage of oral storytellers, bards, and magicians. That if done well, we have the ability to put audience members into a gentle trance , to inspire good. If not done well, well that’s another story.

I had never really understood this task, but have always wondered how I was so easily spun into another realm while seeing some of my favourite artists over the years. How I could feel totally held throughout a two hour long concert.

For years, I had been singing at my audience, not understanding that all I really wanted to do was to connect with them. Those that have followed me for a long enough have seen the change in how I perform. I try to conjure up a little magic every night that I hit the stage. I’m looking for a direct emotional, spiritual and musical connection with the audience and the people on stage. I suspect it can only be done with an open heart and as much authenticity as possible. A little bit of rehearsal and practice is fine, but insincerity will sever the connection I suspect.

I’ve never felt so held from my audiences and by the universe as these days.

It’s a profoundly moving and healing experience for me and I can only hope it is the same for those that pay their ticket.

Anyways, I guess that brings me back around to the aforementioned, Mary oliver quote

“You can fool a lot of yourself, but you can’t fool your soul.”

I see a lot of folks trying to fool their soul these days. I pray they find their truth.

Time to go conjur up some magic.

Be well,

Leeroy